Family

Madison

Posted by ngreene on Mar 31, 2011 in Family, Featured

Susie:

Losing Niamhe felt like losing part of our hearts, part of what made us “us” so when she passed away July 2nd 2010 we were in pieces. A few things pulled us through. The first was each other, Nathan and I may not have had the longest history but from the first day we became a couple, we became a team. The second thing was knowing with 100% certainty that we had truly done all that we could for Niamhe and she died knowing we loved her more then any dog was ever loved. Our hearts ached because we loved her so much (and continue to) but that being said our responsibilities also include Lacey (and to a much less extent Olive who would be thrilled chasing her own tail for hours on end). The bottom line is that Lacey was returned to her breeder early in her life and then adopted by Nathan who quickly became her hero, or has he calls her, his “littlest friend” with this relationship came an understanding … Nathan would make sure Lacey never felt alone again . Nathan did an amazing job of this and when I entered the picture (the clouds opened and angels sang! Kidding) I also started to be aware of Lacey’s needs. Much like me, she is scared and needs constant reassurance and recognition when she does something good. I got it and quickly she and I became very close. She was a huge support to me when Niamhe passed away, even to go as far as licking my many tears. I had to force my self to remember she lost her too, she lost her best friend, her sister and her protector.

We decided pretty quickly that we needed to get Lacey another dog/companion and although we flirted with the idea of different breeds we quickly decided another Italian greyhound made the most sense for Lacey so the search began….

The first thing we did was reach out to the breeder that Nathan got Lacey from, she was unfortunately unable to help so we turned to PetFinder.com, we came across a bunch of IGs in Beamsville and we were off
to the races (so to speak). We excitedly filled out the application and sent it off. We didn’t hear back so we followed up with multiple phone calls and heard the 4 words that would come to haunt us over and over in our search: “no backyard, no dog”.

As most of you know I had been hounding Nathan to move to a new house with a backyard for about 18 months. We are great (dog) parents and we always go to Trinity Bellwoods park but it didn’t matter they kept repeating “no backyard, no dog”.

So that door closed. The search continued.

One by one our options dropped off; one didn’t like cats, one decided to stick with her foster family, one never contacted us back, it was like dating. We were back to the drawing board, but like my dating adventures, although a twisty, windy, and funny road, all of those situations led me to the right one, they led me to Nathan and they led us to Maddy.

Over to Nathan …

Nathan:

When we found the posting about Madison, her name was Masie, and she had recently been rescued from a puppy mill. She was living with a foster family in upstate New York, but she had a broken arm (I know, dogs have four legs … For those of you that are picky i will be referring to the injured area of her front right leg as her arm) and she had been de-barked. She needed a family that would not just love her, but be willing to deal with recovery associated with the injured arm.

We filed the required application and, for the first time, the yard thing didn’t come up because this little sweetheart is somewhat uncomfortable outdoors.

We had a phone interview and made arrangements to drive down and meet her. The deal was that, as long as everyone got along, she would come home with us.

So we set out for Binghamton, NY. Google maps said that the trip would be just over 5 hours, but between traffic and a nightmarish line at the border, the trip actually took us closer to 8 hours. We ate a few times along the way and almost ran out of gas, but we made it.

Of course, there were far more stops than usual on this drive because we brought our Italian Greyhound, Lacey along with us to make sure that she and Maddy got along.

The date for the girls to meet was set for 12 noon the next day. We took Lacey out for her morning walk with an eye on finding some breakfast. We came across a local favorite greasy spoon where Susie went in to find some take out that we could take to a park. Because they don’t get many IGs in Binghampton, Lacey drew a lot of attention and I got to meet a number of locals. Despite having a bit of a desolate feeling on a Saturday morning, the people made our visit quite warm.

Soon enough, we were sitting down for our first meal of the day. Susie had asked for the special, which read as a typical ham and eggs breakfast. It wasn’t
until I took the bag from her that I noticed the heaviness of the bag. I couldn’t believe how much food was in that bag. We each got about a half dozen eggs and more toast than we could ever eat, but the piece-de-resistance was the two ham steaks in each of our boxes. We could have easily shared one and had leftovers.

After a bite to eat and a good walk we started to make our way towards the PetSmart in Vestal, NY. We checked in at the Vet’s counter and met Stacey, who was Lacey’s foster mother before we adopted her. Susie got an on the spot interview, which we incorporated into the video at the end of this post.

We needed to wait for Jen, the adoption manager, to arrive so we did some shopping to make sure that we had everything that she would need at home. Soon enough, the ladies came out with Maddy.

She was shivering because she was still a little damp from her bath and she seemed a little scared to boot. Stacey put her down and immediately she was begging to be picked back up. She and Lacey got along just fine and Susie spent almost as much time on the ground as the dogs.

It was a surprise to us how bad her arm looked. We were assured that it had healed, but it was healed in a very awkward position. Apparently she had broken it and the previous owner just didn’t bother to get it fixed.

The last stop before we hit the road towards home was to pick up a Canada t-shirt for Maddy so she looked “a little more Canadian” coming across the border.

The drive home was just as long as the way down, even though we picked a different route. We were still nervous at the border, despite having all of the required paperwork. The guard didn’t even ask us about the dogs in the car.

Since Stacey and her family had been calling her “Masie-May”, and we wanted to call her “Madison”, we started with an intermediate name of “Maddy-May”, which would evolve to “Maddy”, on the way to her new name. Funny enough, the sequence got a little out of order with a series of names that we never expected, including: “Maluki”, “Mookie”, “Muqs”, “Muku”, and now “Monkey”.

Anyway, when we got home, we started to learn a bit about Madison’s personality. She immediately bonded with Susie, but we quickly found out that she was terrified of me.

It wasn’t me that she was afraid of, but I learned the first week that it was men in general. And, even more peculiar, specific fear of Chinese men. Her reaction to people on the street leads me to believe that the folks running the puppy mill were Chinese men.

We also brought her in to see our vet down at (link) Leslieville Animal Hospital. Dr Steve has been with us for a few years now and he saw us through the last months with Niamhe as a total pro so we trusted his opinion when it came to Maddy’s arm.

He took a look and we took some x-rays. Right away he suggested that we should look into a few specialists that had expertise in complex fractures.

Dr Steve made a few calls and got us an appointment at the (link) Ontario Veterinary College. We got in surprisingly quickly.

We saw Dr. Reynolds at OVC and she walked us through the x-rays. We were lucky that the break turned out to be above the growth plate, but unlucky that the bones in the arm had fused together. The surgery for the repair would entail severing the forearm from the fused mass, cutting out a wedge, then reattaching the arm in a straight position. They would definitely need to put a small metal plate in the arm.

What happened next was a real surprise. Once we agreed to go forward with the surgery, they took her from the assessment room into the back and prepped her for surgery the next morning. We never expected to be going home without her.

They kept her for a few days for surgery and recovery before she could come home. One thing that I can say about the OVC is that they are an amazing team. It’s a teaching hospital so we had both an experienced veterinarian and a 4th year student for every appointment.

A few days later when we went back for the pickup we got a full explanation of the surgery along with a complete review of the before and after x-rays.

The two pictures above are the before (right) and after (left) of her arm. As you can see, it ended up much, much more straight than it was before. There is a metal plate in there for support, and she has some wire and a couple of screws to keep the plate in place. They did a really amazing job … You can’t even feel a bump under skin despite all that’s in there.

They warned us that she would look a little funny because she had to be shaved and had an anti-septic applied to her skin, turning her 35% pink.

When she came out with her yellow cast on an arm that was dead straight we were incredibly happy. It was still a long way to go with the recovery. We had to change her cast regularly and keep her from doing any kind of exercise. The exercise was the hard part … Not because she particularly wanted to go outside, but because she, even to this day, has a tendency to bolt when she gets scared … And she gets startled a lot.

Today, she’s come a long way. She sleeps right in the middle of the bed between Susie and myself. She’ll come and sit right next to me on her own. She loves attention and she is very affectionate.

On the flip side, she still bolts when startled. Sometimes I can imagine how easily a girl with that tendency could break her arm. I’ve seen her run head first into closed doors, jumping blindly off of furniture, and sliding across hardwood floors when trying to cut a corner too sharp. She hates to be picked up, which is very different for an IG. I would say that being picked up causes her the most stress of all.

I was holding off on writing this post because I wanted to finish with a video of her running at an off-leash park. I took her to a nice fenced in dog park a week ago when the weather started to turn and she was as uncomfortable as our first day together. It turns out that she needs the leash to feel comfortable at this point. She wouldn’t leave my side and she constantly jumped up to be picked up, which is completely opposite of her usual personality. While it was kind of nice for me to be her safe place, it was obvious that she was terrified.

We’ll keep working with her at the park and update when she fully comes around. From the beginning we’ve known that there would be an adjustment period for her to feel comfortable and, honestly, I think we’re way ahead of schedule from our original expectations.

I was sick and stuck at home recently and spent an inordinate amount of time with the dogs and cat. The really nice part was seeing Maddy playing, both on her own and with the cat. She actually played with a chew toy for the first time that I’ve seen. She’s really coming out of her shell more and more each day.

She really is a sweet girl who really just wants to feel safe.

The Maddy video:

NYC 2010

Posted by ngreene on Mar 14, 2011 in Family, Featured

For her 30th birthday, I took my wife to New York. Actually, it was New York and New Jersey. More specifically, Atlantic City. OK, I took her to see a show. OK, it was the America’s Got Talent live show.

I’m not sure why I feel a little embarrassed by admitting it, but I really like the television show and I really enjoyed the live show. Susie also like the show so I sought out the closest venue for the traveling road show and planned a trip around it.

I had never been to New York so I had no idea how much time we would want to spend at any given place. In retrospect, we crammed way too much into 3 days, but it was a whirlwind of fun!

We flew with Porter out of the island airport into Newark on the early flight on a Friday morning. The flight was awesome. Porter really is Flying Refined. On arrival at Newark we had to get downtown so we opted to grab a taxi. With the fare and tolls all in it worked out to $88, but traffic was fine and we got downtown in no time.

We headed straight for the Michaelangelo hotel at 51st and 7th Ave. I had done all of the planning for the trip so I was glad to see that the hotel was awesome. In all honesty, I chose the place based on location, but it was a nice surprise to see that it was a really nice hotel. We were way too early to check in, but the concierge suggested a relatively inexpensive room upgrade to a suite and we had our home base set.

The first thing that we did was figure out what to do for dinner. We opened the magazine in the living room and saw an ad for Nobu57 so we called and found out that the only dinner reservation options that we could get were for 6:30pm or 10:30pm. We figured that, since we aren’t quite retired yet, we should hit up the late dinner.

I told Susie about the trip kind of at the last minute, but she still had time to research a few things that she wanted to do while in Manhattan. We headed out on our first mission … trying to find a Sound Machine. We found our way from the hotel through Times Square and headed south.

Times Square blew my mind. I always thought it would be busy, but I had no idea how overwhelming it would feel. We wandered around with Susie leading and me trailing along staring up from billboard to billboard. The only thing that I found more overwhelming in the whole trip was watching New Yorkers jump off of curbs in front of cabs.

We did some shopping throughout the first day as we wove ourself through the streets towards 3rd Ave and East 60th St where we stopped at Serendipity3 for lunch. We wanted to go there after seeing Serendipity to prep for the trip. This place had the most ridiculous portions. They had tent cards on the table for a $75 foot long hot dog and a $1,000 sundae. We didn’t see anyone order either of those items … I guess people don’t realize that you have to order either 24 hours or 72 hours in advance.

We watched people keep ordering these massive chilled hot chocolates and huge sundaes so we decided to share a sundae. Since we had already eaten lunch we asked the waiter to make us something not on the menu. The waiter couldn’t understand that we only wanted a “single-scoop” sundae, but he caved with a profession of how full we were.

After lunch, we had a master plan to hit the Apple Store on 5th, then a quick walk through Central Park before returning to the hotel. A quick Google search showed us that there was a lot of shopping on our way back to the hotel and we got seriously sidetracked. We didn’t end up making it to either of the planned stops and, by the time we got back to the suite, it was already well after 7:00pm and we were exhausted. We figured that during the day we walked about 15km as the crow flies and almost 20km with all of the turns and shopping stops.

After some chillout time in the room, I took Susie to Nobu a little early, figuring that we could grab a drink at the bar. They seated us a few minutes early and got us started with our dinner. I opted to go for the seven course tasting menu which was the best single meal I have had in my life!

After dinner, we had a tough time finding a cab and, with the shoes Susie had chosen to wear that night, walking was not an option despite only being a few blocks away from the hotel.

When a yellow cab finally stopped for us, the guy rolled down the window and asked where we were headed. When he found out it was only a couple of blocks he took off without even saying anything to us.

A moment later another guy rolled down his window and asked the same question. This time he told us to hop in. Moments later I realized that this was the nicest “cab” I’d ever seen. In fact, it was a Cadillac Escalade. On further inspection, we noticed that there wasn’t actually a meter.

It ended up being a quick and awesome ride but it wasn’t lost on us that it was a risky decision to jump into an unlicensed taxi. As soon as we got into the hotel, I turned to Susie to discuss and she cut me off with “I know, I really don’t want to think about it”.

In the morning, we headed up to Mt Vernon to see some of Susie’s family. I didn’t actually give them any notice but they pulled together a great brunch spread, complete with a birthday cake and gifts for Susie’s birthday.

After brunch, we headed towards Atlantic city. I guess we brunched a little too long because it turned out that we were in a rush to get to the hotel so that we didn’t miss the beginning of the show.

Down to the wire, we had to skip dinner to make sure that we were at the show in time.
The show was awesome. Most of the top ten acts were there, including my favorite: fighting gravity. http://www.fightingravity.com/. The only low point in the show was the ignorance of one of my fellow audience members. This particular woman seemed to go out of her way to ruin the best act of the evening.

Fighting Gravity is a very unique show that requires complete darkness to get the full effect. Jerry Springer was hosting and he went out of his way to ask the audience to not take pictures and put away all video cameras so that everyone could enjoy the show. This knob assumed that he wasn’t talking to her and held her video camera above her head. She was directly in my line of sight for the stage so I went up to her and asked her to put the camera down.

As soon as I get back to my seat, this idiot has the camera up again so I went back and put my hand in front of her stupid camera. I made it clear that I would take the thing if she put it back up again and she hid it from that point forward, although she never stopped recording. Here is a video shot by someone else that was screwing up the show for somebody:

After the show we needed to find some food but, since we were in a casino, we decided to play a few games first. First, we found a slot machine that had the same number as Susie’s birthday and won $250 on the second pull. Then we played some blackjack and won another couple hundred. The idea was to go to the fine dining place if we won, or the casual place if we lost.

Since we were up, we checked out the nicer place, but went for the casual place after all because the food looked better. Ten minutes into dinner, Jerry Springer and his crew walked in so I guess we made the better choice!

After dinner, Susie watched as I dropped several hundred bucks playing craps, but the blackjack sprites were on our side and we finished the night up just over $500.

It wasn’t until morning that we realized our room was much better than we thought. The room itself was a little blah compared to my expectations. Given we were staying at the Trump Taj Mahal I figured it would be much nicer inside the room. When the sun came up we were treated to an unbelievable view, overlooking the boardwalk.

We decided that our last day in NYC should be spent tracking down and eating some of the quintessential New York foods. We shared everything so that we could make the best time possible without filling up our bellies too much. We made an early call that we would drop off our rental car at the airport so we were stuck trying to park in Manhattan on a Sunday. Incredibly, we found a free street spot at W54 & Broadway so we had our home base.

Our first food was a double stop. We got both a slice of pizza and a cupcake to kick things off. On the way to Central Park we grabbed a warm pretzel as well. After our fall picnic I dragged Susie along to find a geocache in the park where I was finally able to drop a geocoin that I had been carrying around for way too long.

Next stop was more street food in the form of dumplings and a Turkish taco. Definitely not what we expected, but both were very good. We dropped by 30 Rockafeller Plaza to see people skating, but we figured we would save going to the top for another visit.

On the way back to the car we saw a sign for a place called Oyster Bar so we stopped in for one of their famous shots. It was a vodka-based shot with tomato juice, salt, pepper, celery salt, and a freshly shucked oyster. It was a big shot, but man was it good!

Overall the weekend was awesome. We decided even before leaving that we needed to come back soon. There were so many things that we didn’t get to that you need to see or do in NYC. No Empire State building, no Statue of Liberty, no Apple Store on 5th Ave, no Soho, no Wall Street, no Grenwich Village, and barely even a glance of Central Park.

New York … We’ll be back soon!

Olive

Posted by ngreene on Aug 26, 2010 in Family, Featured

At the end of April 2010 we added a new member to the Adelgreene clan. Her name is Olive and she is a beautiful little tabby.

Susie had been wanting to get a kitten pretty much since moved in together, but I have always had allergies to cats. Earlier this year, Susie’s sister found her perfect feline companion in Olive’s brother and, after a few weeks of knowing that there was a runt kitten that needed a home I broke down and called the owner.

What I did not do was tell Susie that we were getting a kitten. I told her that I had a surprise for her and, for some reason, she assumed that I had gotten her a bicycle so I knew that she had no idea.

We went to meet Olive together. She was such a cute little furr-ball!

It took her a few days to come to terms with her new home, but we were happy to find out that she was already litter trained. The other thing that we learned very quickly was that she is very affectionate. She loves to play and she loves to cuddle.

The odd thing was that she didn’t purr. It was probably three days before we heard her purring for the first time. It wasn’t for me, and it wasn’t for Susie. It was for Lacey, who was cleaning her thoroughly. By the time she was done, Olive was soaked through and through … She looked just like a gremlin.

Olive is the bravest animal I have ever met. She has no fear of dogs or people, and absolutely no fear of heights. The first time she climbed up on our screen door I was shocked, but now it’s common to find her walking along a one inch railing around our balcony. Of course, it scares the hell out of us.

The other day Susie was looking for Olive and it turns out that she was sitting on top of the air conditioner on the outside of our kitchen on the third floor of our stacked townhouse. There’s barely enough room for her to fit through the gap but, sure enough, there she was sitting 40 feet in the air as comfortable as can be.

She loves to sit in front of computer screens. I’m not sure if it’s the warmth, or if it’s just her picking a place where she knows that she will be the center of attention, but she keeps walking on laptop keyboards. Somehow she always manages to step on “Return” and “Tab” over and over, which means that she has renamed almost everything on both of our desktops at least once.

At first I was sure it was the heat, but now she climbs on my chest every time I lay down on my back with my iPad in my hands as well. I’m almost convinced that she’s sitting where she’ll get the most attention.

I know that there is no way a cat could possibly understand how to work a computer. The very thought seems a ridiculous notion. The weird thing is that I don’t understand how a cat could possibly find and play Jason Mraz on iTunes on several different machines. I even deleted Jason Mraz from my library entirely and she managed to start a movie that I had never seen before that had Jason Mraz singing the opening credits.

Now, Olive is almost 6 months old and she is already a little bigger than her mother, who we met when we picked her up back in April. We’re hoping that she doesn’t grow much more … She’s perfect right now.

Laceypalooza 2010

Posted by ngreene on Jul 7, 2010 in Family, Featured

After losing Niamhe last week Susie and I were devastated. What we didn’t immediately consider was how much our younger dog, Lacey, would be affected by losing her lifelong companion.

After almost 8 years of constant companionship, Lacey has had as much of a change in her life as the rest of us. To keep her mind off of things, we decided to take her on a little getaway in lieu of our planned excursion to California.

We called it Laceypalooza. It was three days of doing all kinds of new things in all kinds of new places. She loved it and came home completely exhausted.

Laceypalooza

We knew we wanted to go away for Monday to Wednesday of this week and we knew that we wanted to be able to drive a reasonable distance so we turned to Trip Advisor for some recommendations. The top result for our search of “pet friendly” B&Bs was Green Woods Inn in Kingston. A quick call and hosts Tessa & Nigel knew to expect us. Tessa even suggested that we take a drive through Prince Edward County on the way to get a bit more flavour than the 401 would usually offer since we weren’t in a hurry.

On the way out we stopped plenty as we drove the coast of Lake Ontario. Our original vacation saw us landing in San Diego before driving the coast of CA on our way to celebrate the wedding of some friends in Santa Barbara so Toronto to Kingston became the California coast of the East. We went from flirting with being at the B&B before check in to needing to call ahead to arrange a late arrival.

Since we knew it was getting late, and since we were riding the Taste Trail, we decided to do a French style dinner of cold meats, cheeses, wine, bread, and fruit. We were able to get everything we needed on the way to Kingston. On arrival it was easy to see why Green Woods Inn was rated the top choice for us. The grounds and house were beautifully maintained and the hosts were as gracious as can be. We got settled and picnic’d with Lacey on the floor of the room while watching our home TV via Slingbox on the iPad.

In the morning we had a delicious breakfast of a fruit plate, followed by Eggs Benedict, served with a home cured salsa crostini and a sauteed mushroom crostini. We headed downtown Kingston with no real plan or direction and found ourselves wandering the waterfront before hitting the shops on Princess street.

Just before lunch we found out that the traffic was being diverted from the 401 because of an accident. Every car, truck and transport was being forced through the city … and most of them straight down Princess St. Few were stopping so the sidewalks were not all that busy, but it meant that a return to the B&B would take hours of frustrating traffic. A random gentleman explained the situation to me and told me that if he were me, he would find a shaded patio and have some drinks to pass the time.

I concurred and found Susie on the dog-friendly patio of Chez Piggy. We settled in and made it clear to our server that we intended to stay a while. We had a great lunch and lots of fun with our server Kait, who looked just like Sheryl Hines. We decided that, since we were trapped downtown, we would do a little more shopping and find some outfits for dinner so that we could return and continue the fun at Chez Piggy for dinner.

Sadly, Kait was sent home early, but the Chez Piggy team did not disappoint. It seemed that everyone already knew about Laceypalooza and Lacey got tonnes of extra attention.

After another delicious breakfast at Green Woods (yogurt with fruit, followed by fresh crepes) we bade our hosts farewell with promises to return and hit the road. We could have headed straight home, but instead went back acoss the ferry into Prince Edward County to follow the Taste Trail west across the top of the county. A quick snack at Buddha Dog in Picton gave us the energy to explore and find Lacey Estates winery for some great photo opps.

The soundtrack for the video are the two songs that seemed to be on the radio every time we hopped in the car.

Goodbye Friend

Posted by ngreene on Jul 2, 2010 in Family, Featured

Niamhe (1999 – 2010)

We met in a parking lot in Fergus, ON on a Friday night. You were so incredibly happy to get out of your crate in that van full of shelties. You were excited and full of so many kisses that you just had to start distributing them the second you saw me.

I was told your name was Devastation, or Diva for short. I saw immediately why you had such an ostentatious name. You were stunning. Gorgeous. Perfection. I was regaled with tales of you winning ribbons and becoming a Champion Italian Greyhound. Even so, I didn’t see how I could ever go with you to a park and call “Come, Diva” so we started trying out names on the way home. When I said “Niamhe” (pron. Neev) you looked at me right away. Really, you picked your own name.

Our first night together you were very affectionate, but I worried because you wouldn’t eat. I later learned one of your two weaknesses: ground beef. The next day I happened to make a meatloaf and we were off to the races!

You loved being with me, but couldn’t stand it when I’d leave you alone so I got you a friend to keep you company during the day. Lacey was your constant companion from that day forward and you two adored each other.

One of your favourite things in the world was to run. And you were the fastest dog in the world. Nobody could catch you and you loved it! You would tease them and make a sport out of it, but I could always tell when you were doggin’ it.

You hated the winter. As soon as it dropped below freezing you would do anything to avoid the cold. Burrowing into blankets, piling yourself on top of Lacey, whatever it took to keep warm.

The kisses never stopped. You were the most affectionate creature I’ve ever met. We spent hours grooming each other …you even cleaned out my ears when I let you.

You’ve been there with me through everything these last 8 years. We lived in 4 different homes together, you’ve seen me married, divorced, single and married again, you’ve seen me as sick as I’ve been and you’ve seen me happy and strong. Through it all you were always supportive and happy just to be with me.

I always treated you like the princess that you knew you were. You got the best spot in the bed every night. You wouldn’t get up in the morning until I would rub your belly for just long enough. I carried you to bed every night because you fell asleep on the couch and were too tired to make the trek up the stairs.

You got sick the last week of May. I thought maybe you had too much sun at the park, or maybe ate something that you shouldn’t have. You got sicker over the next week and the vet thought that you had a flu so we got you some antibiotics and vitamins. Then you got dehydrated and had to be hospitalized. The tests were going to take a long time so we brought you home where we knew you would be happier. That’s when we found out about your cancer. Whether it was lymphoma or bowel cancer we will never know.

We had so many ups and downs. So many moments of celebration when you seemed yourself and so many moments of despair when you didn’t. You lost more than 20% of your body weight in the last two weeks. Nothing was getting digested and you just stopped eating.

The nights were the worst, for all of us. I always told you it wasn’t your fault, but you still felt bad every time. You never gave up and I think you were fighting for me. You saw me sad and still wanted to be there for me … To comfort me.

You gave me your last kiss at noon on July 2, 2010. I love you Niamhe. I never thought our time could be cut short. I will always think about you and I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.

You died on a Friday. It was the hardest day of my life.

Married Life #7 of 7 ~ A letter to my wife

Posted by ngreene on May 21, 2010 in Family

A letter to my wife on our anniversary:

Dear Susie,

Today is our one-year anniversary of marriage.

When I think back to our first date I can’t even believe that we’re here today! You had just come back from Vegas and, despite the late hour and how tired you were, you agreed to see me ahead of the “first” date we had planned later that week.

We spent hours flirting and sparring with each other over drinks at 7-West, before I put an end to the evening by making you cry because I felt I had to be honest with you about who all I was dating at the time. The next morning we sat in your office and you told me that work-Susie liked me, home-from-Vegas- Susie didn’t like me, and that weekend-Susie and regular-evening-Susie wanted to give me a shot before you made any decisions about whether you like me or not.

Today, I guess the majority of Susies have agreed that I’m not such a bad guy and one of these days I would love to get another chance with home-from-Vegas-Susie.

Every day I wake up and feel happy to find you next to me. I’m thankful for everything that you bring to my life, even those little things that drive me crazy.

I love your style and I love the way you carry yourself. I love your confidence and I love how you connect with people. I would have been a fool to not grab you when I had the chance and that has been the best decision of my life.

You make my life better in a lot of ways: you push me, you take care of me, you advise me, you encourage me, you make me want to be the best man that I can.

I adore you. I try to let you know how beautiful you are every day. I recognize my faults and I appreciate how you ignore them.

Thank you for our first year of marriage. Thank you for being my wife. Thank you for being with me and thank you for all that you do for me.

I love you and I can’t wait to see what comes next for us.

Love,

Nathan

Married Life #6 of 7 ~ A Year in Review

Posted by ngreene on May 20, 2010 in Family

Susie and I started dating on May 21, 2008. We chose to marry on May 21, 2009 so that we wouldn’t have to change the day that we celebrate as our anniversary.

We were definitely going to be getting married on the 21st of May … I just didn’t know which year!

There’s an adage that any man who gets married is told by one of his friends or family members:

“A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.”

Despite a fairly exhaustive web search, I have no idea where that quote comes from, or who I first heard that advice from, but I do know that I heard it from multiple advice-givers over the years. I’ve been trying to think about different ways that either of us have changed over the past year and I can’t come up with any.

I think that we both knew who we were pretty well as individuals entering into a relationship. That’s definitely an advantage to getting married a little older. Having that extra time to get to know yourself makes it much easier to know what you want out of a relationship and where you’re willing to compromise.

We were very clear with what we expected from each other from the very beginning so I don’t think that either of us have been surprised with anything the other has done during our first year. Of course, like any couple, we have our moments of abrasiveness. I know that I am a difficult person to live with for a variety of reasons, the least of which being that I’m as stubborn as a mule.

If I had to find a fault in my wife, it’s that she feels a need to get overly involved in peoples lives and that tends to cause her a lot of stress. She can’t stand to know that someone is in pain if she can think of a way to make whatever it is any less painful … and she is very creative.

It makes me think, if the worst thing I ever have to put up with is someone who cares about people more than they maybe should, how bad can things ever get? Sign me up for a lifetime.

I think that the wedding planning and execution process is a great test of a couples resolve. In our case, we really did need a honeymoon after the wedding. There were pre-events, setup tasks, cleanup tasks, drama with guests, post-events, and don’t get me started with the intensity of the negotiations for the guest list and seating chart.

The last year, since returning from our honeymoon, we’ve slipped back into the routine of life. The usual stresses of work, family, friends, finances, apply to us as they do anyone else. One thing that we’ve learned is that we really need to remember to spend time alone together, particularly when things do get stressful.

Of course, one of the topics that will come up in the first year of marriage for any couple is whether and when to start thinking about expanding the family. We’re closer to that step now than we were a year ago. Before we get really serious we need to consider changes to our lifestyle, schedule and home. It’s hard to imagine how a child would fit into the busy-ness of our current lifestyle, but I guess that’s how everybody feels.

I’m sure that the next year will bring a ton of change for both of us. I already know it will all be great!

Married Life #5 of 7 ~ My Speech & The In-Laws

Posted by ngreene on May 19, 2010 in Family

I am not really one for preparing in advance when it comes to giving any kind of speech that has meaning to me. I procrastinate and I just can’t think of what I really want to say until the day of the event.

Even if I do prepare, I have a tendency to throw away everything that I’ve written on the day of the speech in favour of something off the cuff and more relevant to things that happen on the day in question.

That’s exactly what happened on my wedding day. The upside is that you get a very authentic and honest speech. The downside is that you can overemphasize some things and forget to include some key points that you intended to make.

I have never gone back and listened to my speech, even though I have it on video. But, even without having seen it, I know that I skipped the section of my planned speech where I acknowledge my in-laws. I actually had a great bit about how much I appreciated their hospitality and support.

How could I miss such an important part of my speech, you ask?

I blame my bride. She, for weeks, reminded me constantly how important it was for me to say something about her in my speech. I was planning on saving what I had to say to her for my closer.

I got into my speech and I know that I rambled a little, then I looked to the crowd to see my blushing bride, who was pointing to herself with both thumbs and mouthing to me from across the room: “Me … Don’t forget to talk about me!”

Immediately, I jumped ahead to talk about her and I lost my train of thought, hence the missing in-law acknowledgements.

In retrospect, I am very much appreciative for the love, respect, and support that my in-laws and their respective partners have had for me before, and since the wedding and I am glad to be able to acknowledge that in a public forum, even if it is a bit late.

Married Life #4 of 7 ~ Adelgreene & Favourite Shots

Posted by ngreene on May 18, 2010 in Family

Unfortunately, a one week countdown only left me with 7 post opportunities, but I had 8 posts that I wanted to make, so this is a two-fer.

ADELGREENE
Every time a man and woman get married there is a debate that happens at one point or another about whether the woman will be taking the man’s last name after they get married.

Our debate has lasted for over a year now and we are deadlocked. The problem is that I’m not asking for her to change to my last name. I’m asking her to change to a new last name that we create using parts of both of our surnames: Adelson + Greene = Adelgreene.

Here’s my rationale: Traditionally, a woman would have taken the last name of her husband. And, to be honest, if that were important to me I am sure that she would change her name. We have already agreed that any children that we have would be given my last name. She has a very unique name, which has a very strongly associated professional personal brand that we both agree that she shouldn’t lose if possible. I love my last name, but know that it is quite common and would prefer to have a more unique last name.

The debate rages on and we are both rallying people to our cause. The problem is that we can both be very convincing and, too often, the people that we are polling have a stake in the matter.

Names have been changing constantly over generations. Even Greene is an anomaly from previous generations because over the years the “e” at the end has been added or subtracted from one generation to the next, mostly because of government errors. From my father and my father’s father to me, we are reaching the longest stretch in family history without a change. I’m due for a change … the family name is over due for a change.

Have your say … There’s a poll to the right hand side. It’s very simple: Do you think we should change our surnames to the new Adelgreene or not?

FAVOURITE SHOTS:

We had two photographers at our wedding who had very different styles. They got all of the requisite shots that you expect at weddings, but they so got a lot of different shots that really stand out for me.

This is a collection of shots that I love but most will probably never make an album: